Adults Can Be Bullies Too!

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I’ve shared with you guys before that I am currently living, and overseeing a Boarding House.  It’s me, one of the owners, and one tenant.  This tenant is about 56 years of age.  She’s crippled, and spends most of her time in a hospital bed.  A decade or more ago, she allowed a young nephew to drive her car, and they got into an accident.  She was left crippled, and he lost his life.  She’s been here since September, and the house hasn’t been the same since.  She has ran off at least two other tenants.  Even though they know she’s crippled, they still felt unsafe in this house.  If my use of the “cripple” isn’t politically correct, I do apologize!

She has providers that come to the house for 8 hours to help change her diapers, bathe her, and cook her food.  Anything outside those duties is up to the provider whether they want to do or not.  This lady treats them like slaves.  She yells constantly.  She barks orders.  She swears constantly!  She lies on me every chance she gets a new person to visit her.  She’s been through 5 different agencies and about 15 different providers.  She takes whatever information she’s found out about you and manipulates it to harass and get a rise out of you.  Whenever visitors come she says nothing, but the minute they leave she’s back at it again.  The owner of the Boarding House thinks she’s crazy.  I know better.  She’s just a big bully.  She had one provider that was a Big Girl.  She was the only one didn’t get messed with.  But she no longer comes, because the tenant scammed her out of some money.

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The providers say she often swings at them.  She had one provider walk to the service station to get money she owed her that she knew wasn’t on the card.  She sends them back and forth, on purpose.  “Do your JOB!!”  I swear I’m so tired of hearing that.  When I say something to her, she gets even more belligerent!  Of course I have no support from the owner, because she is hardly here!  The other owner is in her seventies, and this is bothering her so much.  I’ve gone entire days listening to this lady call me names, expletives, she calls me nasty names, and talks about my family.  She literally taunts me!

I’ve experienced being bullied when I was young, but I’ve never experienced it since I’ve been an adult.  So what is a girl supposed to do?  Well I researched Bullying by adults, and I’d like to share some things with you.

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What is bullying?  It’s the act of repeated aggressive behavior, and taking frustrations out on someone repeatedly.  Types of bullying could be of the following:  verbal, physical, serial, gang, cyber, subordinate, work, sadistic, psychotic, and sociopathic.  Bullies  usually have low self-esteem, envy, jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, use power for one’s own psychological shortcomings, and self hatred.

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8 Keys To Handling Adult Bullies

  1. Keep Safe, Utilize a Crisis Hotline if you need to.
  2. Keep your distance, keep your options open as well. Don’t grapple with a person who is negatively entrenched.
  3. Keep your cool and avoid being reactive.  They project their aggression to exploit your weakness.
  4. Know your fundamental Human Rights.  You have the right to the following:  be treated with respect, to express your feelings, opinions, and wants, the right to set your own priorities, can say no, get what you pay for, and take care and protect self from being threatened physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  5. Obtain information on The Fundamental Human Rights from the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
  6. Talk about your experience, use assertive and effective communication.
  7. Set the tone.
  8. Set consequences to compel respect.   

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Bullying can also be done in the workplace.  Employers create competition between workers to make a certain employee or coworker feel bad.  Pitting employees against each other, creating one winner and many losers.  Other forms of bullying can include:  interference or sabotage, accusatory or threatening statements, humiliation in front of other coworkers or the public, excessive monitoring or micro- management, failing to invite someone to an essential meeting, and withholding information essential to performing one’s job.  Any of these done excessively can be crossing the line into harassment.

Things to do if you feel like you’re being harassed at work are: 1. report the incident to your supervisor; if the supervisor is the problem go over their head, 2. keep notes and documentation; 3. Contact the EEOC or the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission; 4. obtain a lawyer.  Report to the EEOC before obtaining a lawyer.  You have 6 months after reporting the incident to your employer.

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Believe me when I say I have a very thick skin, but when this occurrence happens every freaking day it can get really hard.  So today my attitude was “Bye Felicia”!  I didn’t say anything to her.  I played gospel music in my room.  I didn’t talk to her provider, because I didn’t want her day to be a hard one.  Because she treats them extra worse if they talk to me.  I must say it ended up being a tolerable day!  She still went on her rants screaming and hollering, but it was easier to ignore her with my “Bye Felicia” attitude!  Hope this helped someone out there!

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Meditating Mama

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So before jumping in and trying new things, I always try researching and studying it.  Especially if it’s something I don’t know much about.  In this Journey of Ascension, one of the things I know I needed to do was learn and teach myself to clear my mind and develop a new way of thinking. So that’s what I’ve done, and I’m here to share what I’ve learned and my experience in doing it.  

I found many definitions of mediation.  Some say it’s an intentional exercise to quiet the mind and increase mental awareness.  It’s an inner awareness, striving for peace and contentment.  Some say it’s raising yourself to a higher consciousness awakening your thoughts to eternal, unlimited nature of your being.  It’s a balancing technique, vibrating to a higher level of energy by saying and doing things that feel good and right.  Avoid all things negative.

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Benefits of Meditation

  • Stress Relief
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Eating Disorders
  • Addiction

Different Types of Meditation

  • Mindfulness
  • Transcendental Meditation
  • Guided Visualization
  • Qi Gong
  • Kundalini Meditation
  • Heart Rhythm Meditation
  • Zazen
  • Sahaja Meditation
  • Mantra
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There are certain steps that need to take place when beginning to meditate.  First you want to find a quiet place that you can comfortably sit.  Bring your thoughts to the present.  Remove all distractions.  In your quiet place turn off the TV, radio, and any other electronic devices. You can light some candles if you want.  If you need water, get some.  If you feel you may get cold put on a sweater.  Take your time as you get into your quiet place.  

Now it’s time for you to quiet your mind. Pay attention to your breathing.  Focus on the air flowing through your nose and out of your mouth.  Give your mind a focal point; a place to come back to if your mind wanders.  This could be the flame on a candle that you have lit, or a smooth stone.  Now you’re ready to start.  Set a timer for two minutes.  Remember thirty seconds of a clear mind is better than a couple of minutes of a racing mind!  

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Well I have been trying to commit myself to meditate for the past week.  So here’s how it went!  Day one I shared with you guys a picture of a nice comfortable chair.  I was able to sit straight up in it with my feet planted easily.  I was able to focus on my breathing really good, and before I knew it, the two minute timer went off.  I was like “wow!  that was quick!”.  Day 2 I sat in the comfy chair.  I tried for two minutes, but my mind kept wandering.  Well it wasn’t wandering, it was racing.  Racing like a mad dog!!  So I didn’t try to continue.  To be honest, I was a little vexed.  Day 3 and Day 4 were the same way. 

I realized my quiet place really wasn’t that quiet.  The room I’m staying in faces the driveway that sits on a busy road.  So I had to find an even more quiet place.  Guess where I ended up on Day 5, 6, and 7?!  In my closet!!!  I was able to get a more effective two minute session.  I also did it lying down on my back.  I found that I slept better, and I was able to focus on my writings the next day a little better as well. I’m interested in seeing how I do for the rest of the month before I try to venture further into this practice.

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Sources:

https://blog.mindvalley .com/higher-consiousness

https://www.blackzen.com

https://synchronicity.org/meditation-for-beginners

The Journey Begins

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This is just an introduction!  So please bare with me!  I’ve been blogging on blogspot for God knows how long!  I just recently joined a new support group on Facebook.  They’re starting a workshop, and in order to participate I have to be on a WordPress Platform.  So here I go!  I will keep this brief until I am ready to dive in!  Again this is just a test!