I’ve shared with you guys before that I am currently living, and overseeing a Boarding House. It’s me, one of the owners, and one tenant. This tenant is about 56 years of age. She’s crippled, and spends most of her time in a hospital bed. A decade or more ago, she allowed a young nephew to drive her car, and they got into an accident. She was left crippled, and he lost his life. She’s been here since September, and the house hasn’t been the same since. She has ran off at least two other tenants. Even though they know she’s crippled, they still felt unsafe in this house. If my use of the “cripple” isn’t politically correct, I do apologize!
She has providers that come to the house for 8 hours to help change her diapers, bathe her, and cook her food. Anything outside those duties is up to the provider whether they want to do or not. This lady treats them like slaves. She yells constantly. She barks orders. She swears constantly! She lies on me every chance she gets a new person to visit her. She’s been through 5 different agencies and about 15 different providers. She takes whatever information she’s found out about you and manipulates it to harass and get a rise out of you. Whenever visitors come she says nothing, but the minute they leave she’s back at it again. The owner of the Boarding House thinks she’s crazy. I know better. She’s just a big bully. She had one provider that was a Big Girl. She was the only one didn’t get messed with. But she no longer comes, because the tenant scammed her out of some money.
The providers say she often swings at them. She had one provider walk to the service station to get money she owed her that she knew wasn’t on the card. She sends them back and forth, on purpose. “Do your JOB!!” I swear I’m so tired of hearing that. When I say something to her, she gets even more belligerent! Of course I have no support from the owner, because she is hardly here! The other owner is in her seventies, and this is bothering her so much. I’ve gone entire days listening to this lady call me names, expletives, she calls me nasty names, and talks about my family. She literally taunts me!
I’ve experienced being bullied when I was young, but I’ve never experienced it since I’ve been an adult. So what is a girl supposed to do? Well I researched Bullying by adults, and I’d like to share some things with you.
What is bullying? It’s the act of repeated aggressive behavior, and taking frustrations out on someone repeatedly. Types of bullying could be of the following: verbal, physical, serial, gang, cyber, subordinate, work, sadistic, psychotic, and sociopathic. Bullies usually have low self-esteem, envy, jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, use power for one’s own psychological shortcomings, and self hatred.
8 Keys To Handling Adult Bullies
- Keep Safe, Utilize a Crisis Hotline if you need to.
- Keep your distance, keep your options open as well. Don’t grapple with a person who is negatively entrenched.
- Keep your cool and avoid being reactive. They project their aggression to exploit your weakness.
- Know your fundamental Human Rights. You have the right to the following: be treated with respect, to express your feelings, opinions, and wants, the right to set your own priorities, can say no, get what you pay for, and take care and protect self from being threatened physically, mentally, and emotionally.
- Obtain information on The Fundamental Human Rights from the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
- Talk about your experience, use assertive and effective communication.
- Set the tone.
- Set consequences to compel respect.
Bullying can also be done in the workplace. Employers create competition between workers to make a certain employee or coworker feel bad. Pitting employees against each other, creating one winner and many losers. Other forms of bullying can include: interference or sabotage, accusatory or threatening statements, humiliation in front of other coworkers or the public, excessive monitoring or micro- management, failing to invite someone to an essential meeting, and withholding information essential to performing one’s job. Any of these done excessively can be crossing the line into harassment.
Things to do if you feel like you’re being harassed at work are: 1. report the incident to your supervisor; if the supervisor is the problem go over their head, 2. keep notes and documentation; 3. Contact the EEOC or the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission; 4. obtain a lawyer. Report to the EEOC before obtaining a lawyer. You have 6 months after reporting the incident to your employer.
Believe me when I say I have a very thick skin, but when this occurrence happens every freaking day it can get really hard. So today my attitude was “Bye Felicia”! I didn’t say anything to her. I played gospel music in my room. I didn’t talk to her provider, because I didn’t want her day to be a hard one. Because she treats them extra worse if they talk to me. I must say it ended up being a tolerable day! She still went on her rants screaming and hollering, but it was easier to ignore her with my “Bye Felicia” attitude! Hope this helped someone out there!